Goodbye

I haven’t been on in a while but, the last time I was on I read a post that asked people how they got into Morgans and I started to cry. On the hospital bed next to me was my reason and I was losing him.

This is my first time on since then and I would like to share with you all a little of my story…

I have always liked horses. Always wanted one but, my family moved alot it wasn’t even a question of working myself to get a horse. We were just moving all the time! LOL My first Breyer was a Morgan. My Mom got it for me influenced by my Grandpa’s love of Morgans. Finally, it was my turn and my Mom and Dad decided I could have my own horse. My Mom and I looked at everything under the sun eventhough I really wanted to Jump and at the end of 6 months we had decided on a little paint colt. All that was left was to send the money. When my Mom remembered that my Grandpa had liked Morgans. SO she decided to look one more time but, only for Morgans. She was on the computer for half the day, looking. I cannot count how many times I told her to “stop we already found one” or “I am sick of waiting just get that ONE”. She simply replied that “Grandpa always wanted to breed Morgans and wouldn’t it be cool to at least have one?” I guess I just wanted the process to be over but by midday you know she found the most adorable, little, black Morgan colt ever? Yes, I felt bad but, I was overjoyed! I don’t think I have ever said sorry as many times as I did that day.

We decided on him and even went to Idaho from Nevada to see him. I was estatic and couldn’t wait to tell my Grandpa that I was getting his favorite horse. Then, we had to move. Lost all contact with the breeder who had only our previous numbers and we in moving had lost hers. A few months later though we were in California and we found the breeders numbers. Yeah, we called and to my dismay the colt now gelding had been sold. The lady though offered one of her favorite mares. We bought the mare site unseen. Even though we had gone up there to look at the horses we had somehow missed this mare. A few weeks later I watched my mare waltz off a 3 horse trailer and into my hands and heart.

Some time later my Grandpa was able to come and see her. His face lighted up and we talked forever he even tried to get on her himself but, as she wasn’t even broke yet there was no way anyone would let him on. Still we both dreamed of riding together. Me with my innocent, childish wishes and he too though in dreams placing reality where it should be. Depite our age difference that little Morgan gave my Grandpa and I a whole world to talk about. I am happy to say he was able to enjoy a horse show with me. I won 2cd place Mares In-Hand but, he made it feel like a first. I cannot count the tips, little inside secrets, or hilarious stories about horses he shared. I do know that it brought us closer and in the end it was bittersweet.

In November my Grandfather passed away due to Pulmonary Fibrosis or hardening of the lungs. I am glad to  say that I and my Mom and Dad were there till the end. I will only regret never getting to ask why he liked Morgans so much. I admit it was hard considering his heart and other organs were very strong. It was just his lungs. In the end it all came down to the fact that he couldn’t breathe. But, I know I will see him again some day and right now he is riding again somewhere in Heaven waiting for me to join him.

He is my reason for being in Morgans. It is amazing to me how the little things can change whole perspectives and lives. I will never forget my Grandpa, obviously, and I will never forget the Morgans we shared. Let alone his attempts to ride or how he liked to bring home certain horses and see the suprise and all else in my Grandma’s eyes. This year, God willing, I will be going to the AMHA convention in Sacramento. I wish he could have come but, in his absence I will be there and my Mom to enjoy something we know he would have enjoyed. Thanks      

8 Responses to Goodbye

  1. colwilrin says:

    That is so touching. Your grandfather must have been very proud to have such a caring granddaughter.

    I lost my favorite black morgan gelding this past summer, maybe he will be fortunate enough to find your grandfather.

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  2. Carole says:

    I too am sorry for your loss. You will carry the torch your grandfather passed to you high in your life to light your way to happiness.
    Carole Mercer

  3. empressive says:

    Thanks. I know my Grandpa is probably riding as much as he ever could and meeting up with old buddies along with new ones too.

    In a way I wish he was still here but, I know he is freer in Heaven than here on earth. Thanks

  4. Black Eye Beth says:

    empressive, I am so sorry for your loss. Your relationship with your Grandfather was so special. You both were very lucky to have each other and to have such a special bond. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I am sure it will touch many people’s hearts.

  5. melissa says:

    I was also with my grandfather when he passed from Emphysema and side effects from Asbestos. It is a terrible, long death but I also have wonderful memories of him. He also liked Springer Spaniels so I got one and he loved her, he always smiled when she was around.

    Every time you see your morgan you will think of your grandfather.

  6. JC says:

    empressive, My deepest sympathies to you and your family for the loss of your grandfather.

    I lost my sister in July. When we were kids (decades before she became known as the best veterinarian in her state) she introduced me to a Morgan farm near our home. That farm became my second home and Morgans became an integral part of my life.

    Your grandfather and my sister left us a wonderful gift with the introduction to such a cool breed of horse, did’t they?!

    Joanna

  7. parksaddle1024 says:

    What a wonderful tribute to your grandfather! Thanks for sharing

  8. tech says:

    empressive,

    I am touched by your post about your grandfather. I grew up with a grandfather who always told me he would provide the saddle if my parents would buy the pony. They never did, but when BEB and I married, my grandfather gave her his pony saddle, saying that she would be the one to get a pony. He died before we had horses, but we still have that saddle.

    My grandfather meant so much to me, as yours did to you.

    Thanks.

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